"We want to build a feedback culture in our team!"
Teams and managers come to me with such requests and ask for feedback training: “We want to give each other regular feedback, learn from each other and evolve.” There is often a difference in understanding what feedback is, and when clarifying the request for support, I ask whether feedback is understood as an information on something that I may not yet be aware of (blind spot), or whether it is more about offering criticism with an included desire for behavioural change. Once the understanding of the term has been clarified, the focus of the ‘training’ quickly becomes clearer, and it is usually less about how to give feedback but about building motivation to do so.
The ideal ratio of positive to negative feedback is 3 to 1, and 5 to 1 for relationship partners, according to findings from positive psychology.
We wish to hear way more often praise than advice on growth potential, so that motivation and self-confidence are strengthened and interaction is experienced as open and appreciative. If someone criticises me constantly, I tend to avoid contact. The closer and more familiar the person giving feedback is to me, the more seriously I take criticism, which is why partners should give each other even more often praise. However, too much of a good thing is not helpful either: “If I only receive praise, I end up not believing in this positive feedback or it loses its power” – this is often the conclusion. Building a feedback culture is therefore about finding the right mix and regularly reviewing the feedback ratio.
What helps when building a feedback culture?
The following tips can help to create a willingness to exchange feedback or even build up a desire for even more feedback!
I want to know the added value of feedback: If I don't know what I can gain as a feedback provider or feedback recipient from the feedback, the motivation to give feedback remains modest. Pointing out the added value, e.g. using the Johari window or by sharing helpful feedback experiences can help.
I would want to know how to formulate feedback respectfully: Praise is usually easy, while criticism takes more effort. The 3-W structure of perception / Wahrnehmung (I observed / I saw / I noticed), effect / Wirkung (this affects me / I had the impression / I was satisfied / dissatisfied because) and wish / Wunsch (I wish / my recommendation is / in my opinion, you could) helps to offer not only praise but also criticism in a concrete and constructive manner.
It is about behavior and not about values or the person themselves: What we can observe is behaviour. And even if this behaviour allows us to draw conclusions about values and the person, it is not our place to criticise values in a professional context. If we are bothered by a certain narrow-mindedness, for example, we can report the behaviour we have observed and express our desire for more openness in discussions.
I need the opportunity to give feedback: When everyday life is too hectic, there is no time to reflect together on our behaviour and its impact. That is why specific time slots are helpful for giving each other feedback. This can take place during team meetings or in the form of a quarterly feedback walk. It is important that the intervals are such that sufficient feedback has been gathered again and that everyone is interested in feedback.
Consciously work on a ratio of 3 to 1: Feedback is exciting when it is always new. Giving only positive feedback at first, then pointing out areas for development the next time and then reflecting on mutual communication, for example, makes feedback exciting, surprising and effective.
I want to know how direct my feedback can be: We all like different levels of directness – some people like it straight to the point, while others prefer it to be more indirect, toned down and between the lines. However, directness is usually preferred. The less fuss is made, the easier it is to accept feedback.
Only one part of us is criticized, while the rest is perfect: If you see yourself as fundamentally okay with a few areas for development, you can accept criticism just as calmly as praise, because we are, by definition, lovable human beings. Reminding yourself of this repeatedly or even addressing it directly makes exchanging feedback much more relaxed.
In addition to all these tips and tricks, a team leader’s behaviour has a major influence on the feedback culture. If you yourself do not want feedback or do not take the initiative, the team will follow your lead and behave in the same way. This makes it all the more important for team leaders to show an interest in feedback, to give feedback themselves and to regularly set aside time for feedback exchanges. However, this should not be a serious and tense affair, but rather a light-hearted and humorous one. Feedback is a gift, and when it comes in attractive packaging, people are happy to receive it!
Would you like to give everyone the chance to receive lots of praise?
What organisational developers call a ‘resource shower’ involves short exchanges of purely positive feedback. Either as a whole team or in subgroups, people give each other feedback on what they appreciate about each other. A predefined time slot of 3 to 5 minutes per person ensures that the exchange is dynamic and focused and that everyone gets a turn. Alternatively, everyone can fill an envelope with positive feedback for each person, and at the end, a few of the pieces of feedback received are shared so that others can share in the joy.
Would you like to focus on areas of development?
Consciously focusing a feedback sequence on areas for development may cause some discomfort at first, but ultimately helps to ensure that such feedback is also given space. It is advisable to have an exchange in pairs or threes for greater familiarity, with a time slot of 15 to 20 minutes. After two or three such time slots, the energy is usually used up and, if desired, you can share in a plenary session how you feel after this sequence and what insights you have gained.
Would you like to try the 3 to 1 method?
Four pieces of feedback can be exchanged at a ratio of 3 to 1 in the form of a walk with a change of conversation partner every approx. 7 minutes. It is important that feedback is linked with an 'and' instead of a 'but' so as not to invalidate the positive. Or you can start with the criticism and deliberately use a 'but' in relation to the positive feedback.